So it Goes: Lessons on Being Present from Friends and Vonnegut
In today's fast-paced, technology-driven world, the importance of being present cannot be overstated. Being present means truly engaging with the people and experiences around us rather than being distracted by digital devices or future worries. This mindful approach to life allows us to appreciate the simple, sweet moments that often go unnoticed. It's a lesson echoed in the wisdom of Kurt Vonnegut and the enduring appeal of the TV show Friends.
Kurt Vonnegut once wrote, “My Uncle Alex, who is up in Heaven now, one of the things he found objectionable about human beings was that they so rarely noticed it when times were sweet. We could be drinking lemonade in the shade of an apple tree in the summertime, and Uncle Alex would interrupt the conversation to say, 'If this isn't nice, what is?'”
Vonnegut's words capture a profound truth that resonates even more in our current times. The sweet and peaceful moments of life often go unnoticed amidst our busy lives.
The timeless appeal of Friends and being present
In recent years, I've noticed a trend among teenagers and young adults: many have told me that their favorite TV series to binge-watch is Friends.
As a proud card-carrying member of Gen X, this initially struck me as nostalgic. The show was a staple of my youth, capturing the essence of my life during that era. However, as I probed deeper, I realized young people looked at the show in awe.
What stands out to young viewers today about Friends is that the characters were present with one another. They hung out in coffee shops, engaged in conversations, and lived their lives without the distraction of smartphones. While the show’s plots were sometimes silly and trivial, it encapsulated an era of genuine social connection where people met each other physically.
It is genuinely concerning that something I once thought as trivial is now so foreign to young people that they watch it on TV with earnest fascination, undeniable evidence of a widespread breakdown in community and connection. So it goes.
Is social media a necessary evil?
In a recent interview, Jonathan Haidt discussed how few kids would willingly give up Instagram because they feel the need to stay connected. Yet, many admitted they would feel relieved if everyone else stopped using social media. In other words, they admitted that social media is, in some respects, a necessary evil.
Unlike the cozy, communal coffee shops of the past, social media can often feel like a compulsory engagement rather than a joyful gathering. I cannot imagine a world where people would think a coffee shop where others congregated and were fully present was a necessary evil.
Being present
Let's strive to be fully present with those around us. Just as Uncle Alex encouraged, take a moment to pause and appreciate the sweetness of life. Here are some practical tips inspired by Jonathan Haidt's insights to help children do this.
Limit Screen Time: Set boundaries to reduce phone and social media usage, encouraging more face-to-face interactions.
Encourage Unsupervised Play: Allow children to engage in free play with peers to develop social skills and independence.
Create Tech-Free Zones: Designate tech-free times or areas to focus on meaningful conversations during family meals or outings.
Prioritize Outdoor Activities: Plan regular outdoor activities like hikes, picnics, or walks to enjoy nature and bond with loved ones.
Be Mindful: Practice mindfulness by taking moments each day to pause, reflect on positive aspects, and express gratitude.
Foster Real-World Connections: Encourage participation in social activities, community groups, and local events to strengthen real-world interactions.
